There was a fire

There was a fire
that once burned in my soul.
It consumed me entirely
but I never felt more whole.

Every word I spoke
preceded from a place on high.
No more was I called by my name,
No longer was I living a lie.

he tried to end
what was so beautiful, sent from above.
Little does he know that
he has already been defeated by God’s Great Love.

So now I’m free
to live, dance and sing
that the fire burns brighter
and magnificent and glorious within.

There IS a fire
that burns in my soul.
It consumes me entirely
and I feel complete and whole.

(Another old post)

Dance with me

Sway with me,

Step by Step.

Don’t let go.

I want you

to know me.

More than ever before.

My loverly,

Dance with Me, my darling. As I draw you into my arms, let go of every other thought, every worry and every anxiety. I will lead you on in this dance of love. This is our song. No dance form can define My steps. Just hold on to My hand and stay close. Follow My lead. Make a choice to be led by Me and let go of all inhibition. It is me, your Jesus. I am yours and you are Mine.

I made you for a time like this. Not any earlier but for ‘now’. I love you and every little thing about you. Things that even you do not know about you. You are My pride and joy.

Hugs,

Lover of your Soul

P.S.: I really do love you!

(This is an extremely old post I had written on another almost forgotten blog. Just thought I should put  it here.)

The day I died…

Like any other night, I sat down on my bed by the window to pray. I love reading my Bible. Every single time I turn the pages of this beautiful book, my heart quickens in anticipation to see what He will reveal to me today. After I had done that, I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes to pray.

Suddenly, my eyes opened to find myself in a really crowded room with some people regretting, some rejoicing and some just silently contemplative. I could not understand how I got to be there. I was at my home till a few minutes ago. Nothing seemed to make sense. At the back of my head, there came a nagging thought, ‘I must have died in my sleep. I should have known that blocked nose would get the better of me.’ I felt so undone; there were so many things I had left to do; so many things that I wanted to say.

The crowd was moving in a particular direction and I followed suit. Right at the end of the room, I saw a heavily bearded man having conversations with one person at a time before they went one of two ways, as if to be segregated. I thought maybe, just maybe, that could be Peter. I still haven’t understood why it is Peter who is always standing at the Pearly Gates? Anyway, he seemed to be in conversation with a lady when I was drawing closer to the end of that line and I looked at her face. She looked so pained and then with her head hung low, she walked away.

Finally, it was my turn and I stood there wondering if I should speak first. Should I say something funny to break the ice? Well, the ice melted away, the minute he asked me, “Where do you think you deserve to go?” I wanted to say heaven with clear confidence but I was not so sure if that was where I would go. Had I lived my life right? Not in the past so long ago but right now, up until the moment my last breath had escaped my lips, did I live right?

And then, a thought entered my mind. I suddenly felt faint. I thought I was going to die a million deaths (even that is not possible once you have died already). I realised, today if I go to hell would mean I would never get to look at the face of my Heavenly Father. I would never ever again hear His voice calling my name. I would never ever EVER feel His love for me ever again. All I would have is faded memories of a love that I once had and let go.

I could not help but cry and cry bitterly. I could not imagine such loss. I wake all of a sudden and realise that it was a dream but the tears that trickled down my face were real and the potentiality of being separated from my Father in heaven was real. I cannot say that I have never made a mistake ever since or fallen short but I am learning to live a life, holy and acceptable to Him.

There is an invitation that is open to anyone who believes that Heaven is as real as is hell. He made a way to spend eternity with Him.

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.

What was He thinking?

“Every nerve, muscle, tendon, ligament and bone in my body wants to give up on what I have to do. I asked Him thrice to take this cup away from me but I know that it is His will that I am here to perform so let it be done His way.

That log of wood placed on my naked back digging into my spine, bears thorns and splinters. Although, that crown placed on my head is sheer delight than what is on my shoulders. Parts of my flesh hang from me as though they want to run away from this ordeal I am putting it through.

I think I managed to move a step or two. I can barely remember. My brain is focused on so many parts of my body that is hurting so much, I almost forgot to walk. I fall. My head hits the ground and for a moment, a thought crosses my mind. I think about how easy it would have been for my Father to end this right now, this very instant. But the reason I was here for is far more important than my pain in this moment. I have to go on. I need to go on. I must go on. I push myself up off the ground and continue that uphill climb.”

A body so battered and bruised, torn and coming apart. The weight of the world rested on His shoulders as He walked and He walked alone. I wondered why. I wondered what would make someone give up his life for nothing. Then all of a sudden as He passed by me, He looked at me. His eyes seemed to pierce into my soul. I wanted to look away. I wanted to hide. I did not want Him to see how foolish I thought it was what He was putting Himself through but I could not seem to break away from His gaze.

I saw pain in His eyes and ‘something else’; something so strong that I knew I had to look away. It was so out of place. I did not feel like I deserved to be privy to what he was going through. I knew I had to turn back and get a good look again because that ‘something else’ was drawing me like an invisible magnetic force.

My eyes locked with His once again and I saw pained yet kind eyes and then suddenly, I saw that ‘something else’. I shuddered. I had never come face to face with emotion as strong as this. It drew me closer. I never wanted to look away again. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream, “Please don’t go! I know what it is that I see in Your eyes. I thought I had known it before but I have never seen it like this. I finally found what I have been searching for so long. Please! Please! Somebody save Him!”

What did I see?

Love. A love that could not get nailed to a cross. A love that could never die. A love that strengthened Him to take every step towards what He had to endure. What kind of crazy love is this?, I thought. And then with His eyes that looked into my soul He said, “The kind of love that promises that someday you will believe in who I say I am. The kind of love that promises that someday you will reciprocate this love toward me. The kind of love that promises you will be part of everything I am. This is the will of the One I love for the ones I love and if I have to do it all over again, I will gladly lay my life down, all in the name of Love”

i see me

I stepped out on to the water
With my head hung low
Because even though
It seemed where I had to be
I could not lift my head
To see The One who loves me
Eternally, calling out to me.

All I saw mirrored on the water
A tired and worn someone
Who once knew what it was
To be at peace, to be strong
Even before I had seen the waves
I saw the familiar reflection
Of broken dreams, shattered hope.

Snapped out of my trance
By the waves crashing in on me
I lost my footing on a liquid ground
And found myself drawn
To the deep unknown
Till I heard the voice
Of The One who loves me.

My hand held firm in His
Drawn out of a watery grave
I look up and into His eyes
An image of what He saw
Gave me strength to stand again
Glimpses of Himself in me
Untouched by the waves of the sea

It could be a while before
I look just like He does
But for now, this will do
To keep me afloat and going on
Reaching on to the other side
Every storm and wave I will face
Someday to be caught in His eternal embrace.